Tales from the Book
by Munchkinsrus
Summary: In her seventh year, Hermione finds an interesting book in the library that she decides to show Ron and Harry. It has stories about some of the people they know...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: The idea of this came randomly from the top of my mind, so if it's not good, well that sucks for anyone who's reading this story.**

"Ron, Harry! I found the most interesting book!" Hermione squealed.

"What is it about, how to write your own textbook or how to be a know it all?" Ron asked. Hermione, however, was in too good of a mood to care about his comment.

"It's a book holding little stories about some of the people we know, but make completely zero since!"

"Is that a good thing?" Harry asked cautiously.

"Well, yeah! A lot of this stuff is the truth! But in most of them there's a little bit of make believe."

"Like what?"

"Would you two believe me if I told you Professor McGonagall got tied up and impersonated and the impersonator was Voldemort who was trying to use McGonagall to take over the world but then McGonagall magically appeared and knocked him out with a frying pan? And this all happened after he fell, so that can't be true."

"Can we read that story?" both Harry and Ron asked at the same time.

"Sure." Said a beaming Hermione, happy to get her friends to stop obsessing over the next Quidditch match.

Review Please!


	2. Professor Voldedork

**I am doing random little stories using characters and scenes that I randomly generate. This will be the first strange story!**

"Arthur!" Professor McGonagall yelled once she got close enough to the Weasley home.

"Yes Minerva?" the red head asked, bounding over to her. His eyes were as bright and merry as the early morning sun shining above him.

"A group of Death Eaters attacked Alice and Frank!"

"What? How?"

"When they were at work yesterday a Death Eater switched their wands with trick wands right before they left for home."

"Have the culprits been captured?" Arthur snarled, clearly upset some of his friends had been attacked.

"Yes. Bellatrix, Rabastan, and Rodulphus Lestrange, and Bartemius Crouch Jr. did it. All four of them have been captured and sent to Azkaban for driving Alice and Frank insane."

"INSANE!" Arthur bellowed. "YOU DIDN'T MENTION THEY DROVE THEM INSANE!"

"Didn't I?" the professor asked herself. "I could've sworn I mentioned it…"

"WELL YOU BLOODY DIDN'T!"

"Arthur! You're going to wake Ronald!" Molly yelled from somewhere inside the tilting house. Minerva herself had never been in there, but always wondered if when you were inside the house if it felt like you were tilting.

"Sorry, Dear!" Arthur called.

"Will you pass the news to Molly?" asked Minerva.

"Of course, but one more question. Who gave Frank and Alice the fake wands?"  
"I have no idea." Minerva said.

"Okay, goodbye." Arthur said before hurrying inside. Minerva smiled wickedly. Perhaps her plan would work. Of course she didn't mean for Alice and Frank to be driven insane. Oh well. No one would ever suspect her for being the next evil witch. Now time to put the rest of her plan into action…

But before Minerva could apparate away, a frying pan hit her in the back of the head.

"Never tie me up and impersonate me again, Voldedork!" the real Minerva McGonagall said.

Xxxxxxxxx

"That was…." Harry started.

"Strange?" Ron suggested.

"Told you part of it wouldn't be true!" Hermione said smugly. "Do you guys want to read another one?"

"Of course!"

Review!


	3. Train Station Fun

"I won! I won! I won!" Fred Weasley screamed at the top of his lungs. "I won the bet!"

"That's nice, Fred, now get on the train." Said his father, George Weasley.

"Dad, I just won fifty galleons with a Quidditch bet!"

"With who!" George asked, all of a sudden interested.

"Auntie Gabrielle of course. She came to see us off and give me the bet money!"

"Wait, are you talking about the bet you two made about who would win the World Cup?"

"Yep!" Fred chimed.

"E cheated somehow! I know 'e did!" his aunt said, scowling. "There 'ees no way Fredrick could have geesed something like zat! There 'ees no way!"

Once his furious sister-in-law had stalked away, George asked. "Time-turner?"

"What else could I have used?" Fred said with a grin.

"I don't know, maybe have done something a little more original? I wouldn't have thought I'd be disappointed in your pranking abilities, but now I am."

"Don't worry, dad! Just wait for the next letter you'll be getting from McGonagall!"

"I'll be on edge waiting to see what you'll do next. Now get one that train before you miss it!"

Xxxxxxxxx

"That was funny." Ron said.

"Which part was the funniest?" Harry asked.

"The part where George has a son. Could you imagine the pranking star, George Weasley, ever getting married and having kids?" Ron said, making them all burst out in laughter, receiving a few odd glances from the other Gryffindors in the common room.

"He named his son Fred…" Harry said after a moment of thought.

"Fred the first and he said they were going to name their kids after each other." Ron said quietly. They were all quiet for a minute, thinking about Fred senior.

"These are rather short." Hermione said, breaking the silence. "We could read a couple more if you two would like to."

"Start reading, Hermione!" Harry exclaimed.

Long live Fred Weasley the first. Review!


	4. Robbery with Luna

"What are we doing here again?" Lily whined.

"Shut it Lily." James said.

"Yeah, I actually want to hear what Luna has to say!" said Louis. "Please go on about remembralls!"

"They actually might not be completely legal, you know." Luna breathed. "Some of the stuff that's used to make them could be highly dangerous. That's why we're at this lovely muggle store for a nice dog!"

"It's called a Pet shop." Hermione said. Just then, a man burst into the store holding a gun.

"Get to the ground, all of you!" he yelled. Immediately, everyone in the store dropped to the ground, even the magical population. "Where's the money?" He screamed. He started interrogating people while the calm witches and their children/nieces/nephews/friends had a nice conversation.

"What's going on, mum?" Hugo asked.

"Oh nothing, just a little drill." Hermione said. Hugo somehow believed her and faced back towards James, Albus, Lily, Rose, and Louis.

"What's really going on, Hermione?" Victoire and Dominique asked at the same time.

"A robbery." Luna stated simply. "This man is trying to steal the shops money."

Victoire looked horrified. "Does this happen often?"

"Depends what city and store." Hermione said.

"But we have magic." Dominique said. "We could stop it!"

"We will, Dominique, but when the time is right."

"What's all the talking about?" the robber snarled once he finally got to them.

"Well, we were mainly discussing robberies and how many there are in places." Luna said. "I've seen a lot of robberies and you aren't doing a good job at it."

"What are you talking about?" the robber asked.

"You're letting us talk and your heart doesn't seem into it. Otherwise you probably would've hurt someone by now."

"You're right." The robber said after a moment. "My heart's not really into it. Thank you, Miss." And with that, the robber walked out the door with a spring in his step.

"That's why we wait." Hermione said to Dominique and Victoire. "Luna always knows what to say."

"I love it when you babysit us, Auntie Hermione." Lily said. "We get to do fun stuff!

Xxxxxxxxx

"I could see Luna doing that." Ron said.

"She'd probably also help the robber decide on his next life choices, too." Harry said with a grin. Hermione shot him a disapproving glare that clearly said 'Luna is a wonderful and kind girl and greatly helped us out during the war, so we shouldn't make fun of her'.

"I wonder whose kids Albus, Severus, and Lily are." Hermione said with a smirk.

"Mine." Harry said proudly. "Victoire is French for something, so I'm guessing that's Fleur's and Bill's kid. And probably Dominique, too, because Victoire and her seemed to have a bond."

"And Bill always wanted to name one of his kids Louis!" Ron said. "And Hugo called Hermione mum."

"And if Hermione is babysitting them, then what is Luna doing there?" Harry asked.

"Probably looking for the strange dog she mentioned." Ron said. "Who KNOWS how horrid that thing might look like?" Harry and Hermione shared an amused glance.

"Maybe she marries Harry!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Nope. That can't be it. Moving on to the next story." Harry said rather quickly. Now it was Hermione and Ron's turn to share an amused glance.

Pretty pizza review!


	5. New Family

"I don't know what to do!" Percy yelled to the heavens. "Audrey's going to kill me when she wakes up!"

"Calm down, Percy." Arthur said, looking up into the beautiful night sky. "Audrey and your child will be fine."

"But what if they're not!" Percy yelled. "Mum wouldn't have kicked us out of the house if she didn't need to!"

"The house is very small, Percy. She may have just needed the extra room." Arthur said patiently. There was a wail of pain from inside the house and Percy sobbed.

"I should be in there! Not out here!" Percy screeched. Just then, Arthur heard some leaves crunch in front of them.

"Lumos." He whispered. In the light from his wand, Arthur could see a ten foot tall mountain troll.

"Awwwwwww!" Percy and Arthur screamed. Just then, Harry, Ron, and Hermione came flying in on a magic carpet holding a torch. They dropped a huge cake on the troll and it collapsed. Harry, Ron, and Hermione quickly went to the ground.

"What the…?" was Percy's only reaction.

"Oh, don't worry, Percy. We just saved your life." Ron said.

"What just happened?" asked Arthur.

"Well," Harry started. "Hermione, Ron, and I were in Ron's old room when we saw from the window a mountain troll coming up to you guys. Sadly, since it's pitch black, neither of you two noticed until you heard or saw it until it came up behind you. That's when the Ron, Hermione, and I flew down on our magic carpet and saved your life."

"Percy!" Shouted Audrey.

"Coming!" Percy shouted back, racing inside.

"She's a girl." Audrey stated, handing over their daughter.

Percy held his new daughter for the first time. "Welcome to the world, Lucy Audria Weasley."

Xxxxxxxxx

"I liked the part about where we have a magic carpet and destroy that giant troll with a giant cake." Harry said.

"What a waste of perfectly good cake." Ron said, shaking his head.

"That part about Percy was really sweet." Hermione said.

"Of course you noticed the part not about us." Said Ron.

"That's because I'm not as self-centered as you two!" Hermione muttered. "Now onto the next one….

Review!


	6. Train Rides

**A/N: I hope you all are enjoying this weird story so far! Sorry that the chapters are so short. Do you think I should have them reading two stories in a chapter?**

Tonks looked around the train at the kids and adults going back to London. So many people that she cared about, yet so many seemed to suffer. Harry had been acting strange sense Dumbledore's funeral.

"Hey Tonks, come here!" called two identical red heads from the compartment she just walked by. When she walked inside the compartment, she saw Fred and George testing some weird gadget on one of their friends who had also come for the funeral.

"Wotcher Fred! Wotcher George! What's this?"

"It's our Blower." One of them said.

"When you put a dart in this part-"

"Then blow in here-"

"The dart goes flying out-"

"And hits whoever you want to hit."

"Most of them immediately go to Death Eaters-"

"But some just go to the people you aim it at."

"When the dart hits a person-"

"It could do anything from knock them out-"

"Turn them into a chicken-"

"Throw up slugs-"

"And much, much more!" They yelled at the same time.

"That's great!" Tonks said. "Perhaps you could use them in battle!"

"Of course we will!" they chimed "What else would we use them for?"

"I don't know, attack Percy whenever you see him?" Tonks suggested. The two twins looked at each other before grinning.

"We'll be sure to do that, Tonks. We'll also tell him it's from you, if you want us to."

"Nah, that's fine." said Tonks. "But if you're mum asks, then I never gave you any ideas!"

"Sure thing, Tonks!"

"See you later, Tonks!"

"Bye!" Tonks said as she stepped out of the compartment. Wow it was difficult to tell them apart. But she'll find a way. Once she floos home, she'll look up a way to tell twins apart. But before she had made it two steps, a dart hit her and she felt herself changing into a flamingo.

Xxxxxxxxx

The three sat in silence for a few moments, remembering how Fred and George had used the blowers at the battle and how hilarious it had been.

"I have a feeling that whoever is writing this is stalking us." Ron said suddenly.

"What?" exclaimed Hermione. "Why?"

"Because they know us too well. Except for the first one. That one was just weird." Explained Ron.

"I agree. How could anyone know about Fred's and George's blowers?" added Harry.

"True, but they couldn't have been stalking us." Hermione said.

"You never know. They could have muggle cameras placed up all over the place." Harry said.

"Why would they go through all the trouble of stalking us just to write a story?" Hermione asked. "And you're forgetting about the first one. We weren't even alive back then."

"Plus the second, third, and forth stories are from the future." Ron said.

"The future!" Harry exclaimed. "If we read the right stories we might actually read our own future!"

"That's an amazing idea!" Ron said before he saw the look Hermione gave the two of them. "I mean, er, we might end up ruining our own futures if we know about them ahead of time."

"Party poopers." Harry muttered. "Come on, lets read another one."

Review!


	7. General Bellatrix

**Hi. I know, I know, I haven't updated in a long, long. LONG while, and I'm a horrible person, blah, blah, blah, but I have an excuse! My life turned completely upside down towards the end of summer thanks to my "wonderful" relatives and then school started. Horrible, horrible, sleep-depriving school. At first i couldn't write, and then it just slipped from my mind cause I'm a horrible person. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. PLEASE forgive me for being a horrible person and keep reading. I'll try to update more often because these are so much fun to write. ENJOY OR DIE! Or don't die, that's up to you**

Regulus Black had been sitting alone in his common room while the rest of his house celebrated. Voldemort had been gaining strength even faster now that the Death Eaters had taken out some of the most important members in the Order of the Phoenix. He hated himself for thinking this, for denying his family, but Voldemort was wrong. It didn't matter if someone was a pureblood or not. The Gryffindor girl, Lilly Evans had proved that. She was smart and talented, and was beautiful too. She was perfect, but just like everyone else in his life, would never know the real him. But that was okay, in a sense.

He was tired of being the golden boy in his family. He wanted to follow Sirius. But how could one do that if they already had a permanent tattoo stuck on their left arm? He could've fled, but he tried to be brave. ' _Like a nasty Gryffindor.'_ He thought. _'For just trying to be good I get pushed down to that scums level. Oh well, at least Dumbledore doesn't show any favoritism-Oh wait!'_

It wasn't long before Regulus cracked and asked Kreacher to lead him to the locket. Once there, Regulus let off one of Voldemort's traps, alerting the Dark Lord that someone had broken into the cave. It took about five minutes for him to actually show up.

"Sorry, I would've been here sooner, but I decided to stop for Starbucks. Then the inferior muggle spelled my name wrong, so I blew up the place. Damn muggles." Voldemort said as he stepped out of a boat and onto the island. "Now, I believe I'll take that locket and blow this place up. It isn't very useful now that you could've told someone about it. I'll kill your house elf too. I never liked him. He's kind of creepy. Anyway, you know what's coming, so I'll leave you to your last thoughts or whatever. Just remember that you were never a good Death Eater anyway."

Voldemort took his locket and went back into his boat. He sailed to land before smiling cruelly at Regulus, who smiled cruelly back before shouting, "FIRE!"

Suddenly the British army was there, shooting at Voldemort mercilessly. The Dark Lord quickly fell to the ground, dead, the locket still in his limp arms. Regulus sailed across the lake with Kreacher, ready to meet with the general. When he saw her, he only laughed.

"I didn't know my own cousin was the general." Regulus chuckled as he hugged Bellatrix.

"I always did want to kill that bastard." She smiled. "And now that he's dead we can all go live happy lives! You'll be proclaimed a hero, Regulus! A hero!"

And he was proclaimed a hero until he was captured by Peter Pettigrew years later and was forced to drink the same potion the locket was in.

If only there had been a chosen one to save them all. Maybe then Voldemort would've been made mortal.

Xxxxxxxxx

"Wow." Harry said. "That was…"

"Strange?" Ron put in.

"Yep." Harry nodded. "Probably one of the strangest yet."

"Nah, the McGonagall one was the strangest." Hermione said. "That one was just plain weird, and a bad kind of weird, too."

"Oh well, we can only read a couple more tonight. They're short, but we do have to get to bed early. Ron and I need our sleep for the Quidditch game tomorrow. Hey, maybe there will be a story about that!" Harry laughed.

"You never know." Ron murmured in a mysterious voice. "Maybe the author is in this very room with us. Duh, Duh, DUH!"

"True, whoever it is might be in this room with us." Hermione started. "But it wouldn't be right if we became paranoid about it. However, the author of this book is anonymous. Oh well. On to the next one!

You know you want to review to tell me how much of a horrible person I am :) You know you want to...


	8. Lovey Dovey Potiony

**A/N: Updating twice within a week just for you guys! :) I do want to thank anyone who has reviewed, favorited, or followed. You guys get cyber cookies and Harry Potter books just for you. Anyway, if you guys have any scenarios, people, or random stuff you want to hear in another chapter in the strange book Hermione found then tell me. I won't know unless you tell me... Or I read or mind, but reading minds through computer screens is hard, so just tell me. See all of you lovely people in a few days!**

It was a regular day during the Christmas holidays, or as regular as Hogwarts could get. Already the twins had set fire to multiple trees, books, and their Professor's hats. But the destruction didn't stop there.

Ernie Macmillan had been walking near Hagrid's hut when, quit suddenly, there was a huge explosion. Ernie turned to find trees on fire not far away, along with someone shouting. He decided that, since it might be the twins, he should make sure they aren't killing any Slytherins that destroyed their next prank or something. Or the prank was to lure someone in with an explosion to discreetly murder them. Either way, Ernie decided to check it out.

However, once he got closer he realized the shouting voice was female. And very familiar…

Hannah Abbott.

Ernie ran towards where the girl was hidden behind some trees on the edge of the forest. As he got closer, it became more apparent that there was another girl there. The other girl had blond hair with a distant look in her silvery eyes. She looked like the Ravenclaw a year younger than him that went to the Department of Mysteries in his fifth year. Why would those two be hanging out together?

"What's going on?" Ernie asked as he reached them. There was a smoldering cauldron that had strange pink goop slowly pouring out of its broken side. As it went over the grass and towards the girls, it seemed to be singing something.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? YOU IDIOT! NOW WE'LL HAVE TO TELL THE PROFESSORS AND THEY'LL KNOW THAT WE TOOK INGREDIENTS FROM SLUGHORN! HOW COULD YOU RUIN THIS FOR ME?" Hannah screamed. "THIS LOVE POTION WOULD'VE MADE HIM REALIZE HIS FEELINGS FOR ME!"

"Please Hanna, calm down." Luna said in a dreamy voice. "Go get a teacher and I'll make sure no one comes down here, especially Ernie."

"What if Ernie or anyone else sees this?"

"I'll say we were walking together because you had a question about an article in the Quibbler. However, we heard an explosion and came to investigate. See, no biggy."

"You're insane. But what if-" Hannah's voice cut off and suddenly, a red light came out of nowhere, stunning Ernie. He was laying on the ground in a daze and could barely concentrate on the voices, but did his best to catch some of their words.

"Must've been here… Probably heard… What do we do…"

"Maybe… experiment… See what the goop does…"

"Feed him to it?" Hannah exclaimed, causing Ernie to regain focus. "But, but, he could die!"

"That could be a consequence." Luna said. "But this is for science!" Ernie tried to get up and find his wand, but Luna beat him to it. She snatched his wand and with a wave of her wand, a chair appeared and he was tied to it. Ernie gulped, not knowing what to do.

"Ernie." Hannah whispered. "I'm sorry. Just so you know, I've loved you since the days my eyes landed on you. I could never love another." Hannah stepped up to him and kissed him on the lips. He was caught by surprise, but before he could react, she had pulled away.

"How could you love me if you're going to do this to me?" Ernie whispered back. Hannah just stared at her toes and sighed.

"Well, it's time. We have to do this before anyone comes over here." Luna said. Ernie saw her conjure a container and scoop up the goop. "This would've been your love potion, Ernie. You would've fallen hard for Hannah. Oh well. Let's just put some of this on your skin. If there's no reaction right away, then I'll have you digest some." Ernie winced at the burning sensation that happened when it touched his arm. It burned at first, but then felt good. Amazing, even. It felt wonderful. Like he was floating on air.

' _Well.'_ Came a voice in his head. _'Your brain wasn't too hard for me to get to. Now, before you question me, let me ask you a few questions. Alright?'_ Ernie felt himself nod through the haze. _'Good, now, doesn't this fell wonderful?'_ Another nod. _'Good, Good. Now, don't you want to thank the people who helped you feel this wonderful by giving them some of this?'_ Nod. _'Look at Hannah, isn't she beautiful? She's just so smart and funny and GORGEOUS! Doesn't she make you happy?'_ Nod. _'Then why aren't you dating her? You know you two could be the perfect couple. You know you love her. Just put some of this on her. Don't mind her screams while I break that rope. There you go. Now grab some of the goop and throw it at her. Perfect!'_ Ernie felt the haze go away and blinked a couple of times. He was standing in front of Hannah, who was laying on the ground with a glazed expression, apparently going through the same thing he had.

"What have you done?" came a voice from behind him. He turned to find Luna glaring at him before relaxing a little. "Ernie, your back. It was freaky. The goop went into you before coming back out and destroying the rope. Then you stood up and looked all glazy and took some more goop before throwing it at Hannah. What made you do it?"

"I love her. That's all I remember from it. I love her." Ernie said. And it was true, he now could only remember ever loving Hannah. He knelt down at her side until she woke up and stared confusedly at him.

"What are you looking at? What happened?" Hannah asked.

"Hannah, I love you too." Ernie said, holding her hand.

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" Hannah asked. "I've never loved you. Why would you ruin our friendship like that?"

"Do you both remember the goop?" Luna asked. At their nods, she continued. "It looks like it messed with your heads and now your love roles are switched. Looks like Ernie will be forever single because he'll be forever in love with Hannah, who won't be able to return his love."

And, just like Luna said, Ernie stayed forever single, always watching Hannah and Neville throw their window in the rain until someone called the Aurors.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"What the bloody hell was this?" Ron shouted, causing more than one person in the Gryffindor common room to look over.

"No idea. This was freaking weird. Although, Ernie does look at Hannah like Hannah used to look at Ernie." Hermione mused.

"What does that mean?" Harry asked.

"That these stories are supposed to be silly explanations for all sorts of stuff. How someone could know about the future, now that causes some concern." Hermione muttered.

"Can we just read some more?" Ron complained.

"Fine." Hermione huffed. "But now you get to the reading. My voice is starting to go."

"Fine." Ron huffed back. "But I don't want any complaining about how slow I read."

"Just read!" Harry and Hermione snapped, causing Ron to glare at them before starting.

"Once upon a time…"


	9. Pixies and Teens

**All right, I admit it, it's been more than a few days. Unless 11 days is a few to you. But it's not all of my fault! My cousins from Iowa came up for the fourth and before that I had to CLEAN. ENDLESS CLEANING. So blame the people from the cornfields. I do hope everyone from America had an amazing Fourth of July or Independence Day or whatever. And I hope everyone from every other country in the world had an amazing Monday, even though Mondays SUCK. Also, I've been talking to my Gringots goblin, Betty, and she says I can now give out 25 Galleons to Reviewers! Don't worry, I was working part-time at Hogwarts as a cleaner over the school year because someone might have accidentally tripped Filch and he fell down the stairs. But there's no proof of whoever did that. *nervous chuckle as I start to sweat* Anyways I can only ramble for so long...**

He was going to die.

Or at least would feel like he was going to die.

Why was he so stupid?

For some reason, Cedric had figured that taking the pre-N.E.W.T. tests would be helpful and fun, and just so enjoyable. How he ended up hiding under a table while pixies attacked him from every side, he had no idea. All he knew was that those damned pixies found knives and had been poking him with them before he hid. Too bad for anyone in the hallway.

And of course, when there was a girly scream from a few feet away, he jumped out from where he was hiding to help them.

Why was he so STUPID?

The pixies had grabbed a Ravenclaw from the year below him and had flown her up in the air. Of course, Cedric casted a few spells at the horrible creatures that made them fly towards him instead. However, as Cedric waved his wand randomly to get rid of the pixies, a bubble formed around a pixie's head that made it fall to the ground. Grasping an idea, Cedric casted bubble head charms in all directions.

Sadly, that made the girl fall.

Right on top of him.

Cedric winced in pain and looked at the girl. She was Asian, with beautiful dark hair and gorgeous brown eyes. He could fell his face turn red.

"Are you, um, all right?" He asked, trying to stand up without moving her too much. She toppled from on top of him and landed ungracefully on the floor, causing his beautiful blush to deepen.

"Yeah, I'm fine. That was really brave of you. Are you all right?" she asked, looking up at him in concern.

"Yeah, sorry about that. This is my fault. I must've left the classroom door open when I went in and they all flew out here." He gave a nervous chuckle. She just smiled.

"Cho. Cho Chang from Ravenclaw."

"Cedric. Cedric Diggory from Hufflepuff."

"Right, you're their Seeker."

"I knew I recognized you from somewhere!"

"Yeah, well, thank you for doing that for me."

"No problem."

"Right, I guess I'll see you around?"

"Yeah." Cedric murmured. Cho started to walk away, but his stupidity caught up to him. "Hey, um, Cho?"

She turned around. "Yes Cedric?"

"Would you want to go on a date sometime? Like to Hogsmeade or something?" Cedric could feel his face burning. Of course she'll say no, but what if she says yes?

"I would love to. See you around, Cedric from Hufflepuff." She smiled at him before turning and walking away.

He guessed sometimes he wasn't too stupid.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"That was…" Harry started.

"Cute."

"Sappy." Ron snorted. "I hope it doesn't go downhill from here.

"It was a perfectly fine story, Ron." Hermione sighed, glaring at him. "You just never understood romance."

"I do to understand romance!"

"Do not!"

"Do to!"

"Do not!"

"Do to!"

"Do shut up and stop bickering." Harry snapped. "We only have so much time right now to read them."

"Fine, but I'm not reading anymore." Ron sniffed.

"Okay then, I'll read." Harry took the book from Ron to start the next argument-starting story.


	10. Mama Umbridge

Collin Creevy didn't know what to do. He was trapped at a branching corridor with no escape. If he went left down the corridor, then he'd run into Filch. But if he went right then he'd run into Umbridge. And he couldn't go backwards because of that stupid _cat._ Grumbling, he made up his mind and went towards Umbridge.

"Oh little children!" he heard the toad call, "I know you're out there. I can smell your fear!"

She was getting closer.

Heart pounding, Collin tried to run towards the closet he had passed only about ten feet back. Sadly, the sword on a suit of armor caught his side, cutting his robes nearly in half and ripping a wound by his stomach. Screaming in pain and collapsing on the ground in a ball, he could hear the toad monster getting closer.

"Relax, child. I have you. There's nothing to worry about now that Mama Umbridge is here." Collin turned in the voice's direction. She was uglier up close. Her pale skin glowed in the torchlight and her pointed teeth glittered. The excited hunger in her eyes grew as she sucked in his fear and licked her lips. "Well aren't you lovely." He could only whimper in response.

She inched closer.

Shaking uncontrollably, Collin shut his eyes, preparing for her teeth to sink into him as her warm, rancid breath choked him.

But they never came.

Instead he heard her scream and the large form that had been leaning over him was gone. Collin opened his eyes to see a thin, strange woman punching Umbridge. She was dressed in a brown, black, and grey striped bodysuit that also covered her head, which had two cat ears poking out. Umbridge managed to throw her off and screamed, sprinting away from the scene. The cat lady turned towards him, smiled, and winked, before changing shape into the most hated cat in Hogwarts, Mrs. Norris, and scurrying off.

Collin blinked before realizing he shouldn't have tested any of the Weasley's candy

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

"That would explain why Filch talks to Mrs. Norris like a person." Hermione pondered.

"Very true, though I think she would've been dressed like Madam Pince. That cat would make a librarian like human." Ron said.

"Shut up Ron we are in _her_ library, remember?" Harry loudly whispered

"Well sorry." Ron grumbled. "I guess everyone's annoyed at me now."

"We always are." Harry and Hermione both said, making Ron mumble under his breath before smiling.

"Harry, please go onto the next one." Hermione sighed.

 **A/N: Another excuse coming right up for this lateness! My computer was fried in a storm and I lost everything on it. I had three more chapters for this story written out and I lost them. Then I needed months to cry about it. Anyway, review for a free bad of untested lollipops from Fred and George!**


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